No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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