so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i out mim tonsoeep
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