Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
