We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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