my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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