I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize