i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
