i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
