Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
