THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
