Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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