Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
