What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
