it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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