lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize