i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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