I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
