Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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