I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
