I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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