epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
