I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
