OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
