i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's the barista slut.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
