Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
