I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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