11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Cold hands, warm shart.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
