You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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