Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
