This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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