"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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