kristin has been a bad kristin
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
