Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
