when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
