Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize