He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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