dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
