My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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