is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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