Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
