That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
