I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We left the knife in your bed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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