we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
