Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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