Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
