I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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