I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
