He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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