i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
