you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
