the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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