Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
