I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
