Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
