I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
