then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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