I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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