I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
