You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
