I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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