wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
