handjob tips. give me some.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
