I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
