Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
