i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
