She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
