I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
