I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
