ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
