I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
