sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
