I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Still dying that you shit outside
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
